At the heart of everlasting love is the committment to celebrate being together. Not only the day you met and the wedding anniversary, but each other's accomplishments. Compliment each other and offer appreciation for how wonderful it is to live together. Make love out of bed, touching, kissing and hugging... just because.

Keep the passion burning. Romance and love are inseparable. Romance is not only sexual. It is the fiber that makes your spouse/partner your best friend. Romance is the emotional and physical bond that permits you to feel free with each other in deep ways that transcend mere sexuality.

The Soul of Love
by Judith Sherven, PhD. & James Sniechowski, PhD

To be in relationship is to open to the hidden streams of feeling and intuition in each other, the unconscious shiftings that take us into areas of our individual and joined being that are beyond our imagination. These are soul stirrings that beckon from the other side of what already is.

We see the soul not as a container but as a beacon, sometimes intense, sometimes a whisper, sometimes a demand, sometimes a tease, animated by a desire to bring us even closer by pointing out the way as well as what is in the way.

To Continue Their Story...

Joel and N’omi Orr
Together since 1972

What 3-5 things would you say make your relationship work?

Jesus. He is the first commitment for each of us, and at the heart of our marriage.

Men need respect more than they need oxygen; women need to know they are loved more than they need oxygen. Love and respect don’t just happen; they are the result of our choices.

We found out what our respective “love languages” (See Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages”; also my book, “Every Man a Hero, Every Woman a Coach”) are, and we both make sure we “speak” our mate’s love language to them several times every day.

Everything became wonderful when I decided to “incorporate” my wife N’omi – that is, to recognize that she and I are part of “one flesh.” She is not my rival; she is my best help.

To Continue Their Story...

Cynthia Franklin & Lloyd C. Grant, owners
KIP Business Report

What 3-5 things would you say make your relationship work?

We don’t just love each other very much; we also really, really, really like each other. We became instant best friends after meeting.
We share similar values—religious, spiritual, moral. Also, we are both very culturally conscious and share a strong concern for and commitment to uplifting our community.
We laugh---a lot! Neither of us takes ourselves too seriously. We often laugh at each other and at ourselves. When it comes to day to day stuff, we keep our relationship very playful and light.
We communicate---a lot. But not only do we talk a lot both of us are very good listeners.

What rituals do you engage in which support your lives together?

We go to church regularly---Abyssinian Baptist Church
We cook dinner together several nights a week. (Actually, Lloyd cooks; Cynthia helps him, does the dishes and takes out the garbage.)
We also have movie night, when we curl up together with a big bowl of fresh-popped popcorn and watch old movies.

Turning points?

Starting the business---KIP Communications/The KIP Business Report-- together. For us, starting the business was a huge leap of faith. Neither of us had any real experience. We just believed in our abilities and talents and felt strongly that we had a greater purpose in life than the corporate jobs we were holding down at the time.
Through the business, we discovered what we were capable of accomplishing together.

What do you value most about one another?

Cynthia (on Lloyd)

Sense of calm. There’s an inner peacefulness about him. When he’s around, people tend to feel that “everything’s going to be alright”.
Optimism
Genuine. No pretense. He says what he means and means what he says.
Independent thinker
Intellect. He’s a voracious reader
Integrity
Patience
Sense of humor
Kind/Gentle

Lloyd (on Cynthia)

Sense of humor
Very perceptive
Extremely intelligent
Good instincts
Thoughtful
Pleasant to be around
Kind
Principled/Has firm beliefs and stands for them

How do you show appreciation for one another?
Mainly, by simply telling each other—constantly.

ED and SAX DAVILA: Married 20+ years

Our ability to be honest with each other and to be forthright about our feelings and know they will be respected.

Identifying each other as best friends and treating each other as such.

Just “knowing” that we love each other.

The fact that it is understood that we have each other’s back.

Getting away from the chaos once in a while (weekend getaways) and just appreciating each other.

Laughter!!!

To Continue Their Story...

OSSIE & RUBY: Icons for 50 Years

Ruby Dee and the late Ossie Davis were icons of romance, passion and love in a relationship and marriage lasting over 50 years. In their jointly penned memoir, With Ossie & Ruby: In This Life Together, one of black America ’s most beloved couples revealed the secrets to their long-term success.

“Secrets” is not the best word, though; better would be “principles and practices” lived by. Hard work, certainly, was a constant given, lessons in the sexual revolution were completed in the ‘60s, while achieving a graduate level education in political struggle, not to mention earning a virtual doctorate in raising a family. Ossie’s transcending of the old patriarchal model was a big step. Both were spiritually mature, hence they had wisdom to define what’s really important over time, married or not, but especially if married.

To Continue Their Story...

JANINE and TOM FONDON
Success in Marriage and Business

With a web site named UnityFirst.com, founders Janine and Tom Fondon know all too well what it means to be a ‘union’ first. They have been married for 15 years and despite the odds, their joint business venture, UnityFirst.com/African American Newswire has grown and flourished along with their relationship.

While many business ventures often break couples up, Janine and Tom were brought closer together over the 10 years of building their business by sharing everything—goals, responsibility, opportunity and accountability. “We take 50-50 responsibility for everything,” Tom says.

“We found a greater love for each other as we helped bring others together in business,” says Janine. “Together, we learn from each other while moving through the good times and bad,” adds Tom.

Make sure you and your partner are emotionally available for love.

Be aware that the first blush of wild romance must fade in order for the two of you to show up more fully for the complexity of a real long-term relationship.

Understand that the other person is not you and therefore will have unique ways of thinking, feeling, and expressing themselves - different from your ways.

Stay curious about each other, always eager to know about each other's daily events and what the emotional experiences have been.

Be prepared to negotiate your conflicts so that both of you are satisfied. The changes and challenges you will encounter are spiritually necessary for the two of you to continually grow in your capacity to love. And it helps you to stay romantic when you understand this.

Be affectionate, admiring, and appreciative of one another every day. Do not ever take each other or your love for granted!