Serenading beaus do what comes naturally
by Andi Cook

Cook's Brew

Have you ever watched a movie where a lovesick beau outside a window serenades his sweetheart?

The woman usually melts, succumbing to what she perceives as a romantic gesture.

The women in the audience sigh dreamily, wishing their men had a similar romantic bent.

Many of the men in the audience guffaw and call the infatuated Romeo a wimp, a pansy, or some other word implying that he has sacrificed his manhood on the altar of romance.

These movies are dubbed "chick flicks" because they are supposed to appeal to one's feminine side. Men who are seen in a cinema showing these movies look at each other, shrug, roll their eyes, and pretend they have been dragged to the theater by their women. Presumably they are either doing penance or they have made a trade that allows them the freedom to do something masculine, like attend a monster truck rally.

Perhaps men would be less embarrassed about being caught at the movie if they realized they are simply doing what comes naturally. The infatuated man is not so different from their male counterparts found in the wild. Anyone who knows about the birds and the bees knows that exhibitionist behavior is often a part of courtship. Birds sing and preen to attract mates. Bees dance when they are feeling amorous.

And a species of jumping spiders does both a romantic song and dance. According to findings published in the journal Animal Behavior, jumping spider males are most successful when they sing and dance. When the researchers took away their ability to sing, the females failed to swoon and romance died.

The jumping spider sings even though spiders have no ears. The female receives the song by picking up the vibrations emitted during the song. The human parallel would be the guy with the subwoofer turned on full blast so that the bass emanating from his souped-up car attracts the attention of the females by shaking the sidewalk.

All throughout the animal and insect kingdoms, one can find males going to great lengths and performing all kinds of antics to attract females. Homo sapiens males claim to be too macho to "make fools of themselves" over women.

However, research shows that chemical hormonal changes occur when infatuation strikes that predispose men to acting the fool, at least by macho standards. Males who are in love lose testosterone, the hormone that is associated with male strength and aggression. So falling in love mellows a man and allows him to behave in a way that appeals to the romantic sensibilities of the female.

At the same time, the female testosterone levels rise, urging the female to a more aggressive stance than is her norm. Thus, nature helps reduce the differences between men and women, leveling the playing ground when cupid's arrow finds its mark.

While Wayne never sang a ballad under my window at Louisiana College, he did try to show-off to attract my attention. Since he ran hurdles in high school track, one evening he decided to flaunt his hurdling prowess in order to impress.

A bunch of us were walking across campus and he decided to hurdle a garbage receptacle. It was one of the kind with the domed top and a little swinging gate in which to deposit trash. The dome was removable so the contents could be emptied.

Wayne took a running leap at the garbage can and hit the dome on his way over the metal contraption. The dome flew off of the can, clattered to the sidewalk and rolled a short distance, the little gate clanging the whole way. With all the bravado a humiliated male can muster, Wayne nonchalantly picked up the dome and returned it to the container, pretending he had purposefully decapitated the trash can. I believe he mumbled something about demonstrating the way "not" to hurdle and "not trying this in your home." Everyone had a good laugh at his expense, including the hapless Romeo.

While not awed by his hurdling ability, I was sufficiently intrigued by his capacity to turn mortification into mirth that I did not immediately strike his name from my list of suitable dates. The next time the romance hormones struck, Wayne decided to try his hand at poetry. While he was no Walt Whitman, his efforts did melt my heart. I still have them in a notebook. At this juncture in our relationship, they make good blackmail material.

Andi Cook can be contacted at andicook@bellsouth.net